Dear People Who Set Off Lots Of Really, Really Loud Fireworks Last Saturday Night,
I am so pleased that you had a good time on the Fourth and hope that you all survived with fingers, toes, and eyes intact.
Let's do this again, shall we? But not until next year, please.
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Dear South Carolina,
It's about damned time.
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Dear Mother Nature,
You do a great job with the clouds and the trees and the flora and fauna, and I am very appreciative of it all. However, your timing appears to have gotten slightly… off. Seems to me it has rained every weekend this summer (with the exception of July 4 — thanks for that!). Although it really makes no-never-mind to me which day you decide to water my garden, I am hearing grumbles from those poor wage slaves who have only 2 day/week to play.
Would you consider confining the rain to the hours between Sunday night and Friday morning?
Your appreciative friend