Dear Bears Who Live In The Woods Nearby,
We love that you share your woods with us. Your presence reminds of Nature in all her glories. But really, messing with the trash at noon? That's the kind of behavior that gives bears a bad name.
Please confine your antics to the dark hours.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.
Dear Seiko Watch Repair Service,
We are happy that you have agreed to rejuvenate Smokey's 40+ year-old Seiko diver's watch so that Younger Son can wear it. Perhaps this is the beginning of a family heirloom tradition. We hope so.
But just FYI, $104 + $12 /=/ $122. Please adjust your invoice.
Dear United Airlines,
It may have been over 30 years ago, but I am still annoyed that you would not let me retrieve my trenchcoat from the overhead compartment when I realized immediately after deplaning that I had left it behind. I was no more than 10 feet from the jetway exit when I became aware of my oversight, but no, your flight attendant would neither let me go back on the plane to get my coat nor would she get it herself.
WTF? I repeat, wtf?
No longer your friend,