kmkat & her kneedles

I first started getting old at age 40*, when I found I needed cheaters to do cross-stitch, needlepoint, and, eventually, to read. My contact lenses alone couldn’t cut it anymore.

Then at 60 I gave up on the contacts — dry eyes — and went back to glasses. Not my favorite decision, but it simplified getting ready in the morning and getting ready for bed at night. Plus, now there appear to be an infinite number of style choices — colored, big, tiny, roud, octagon, wire frames, no frames — so there is that.

A 70 I noticed that the skin on my hands and arms was becoming distinctly crepey, Luckily, I find this intriguing rather than distressing. Aging 2, Kathy 1.

But the past year and a half have been challenging. First was the second knee replacement, which did not go anywhere nearly as seamlessly as the first. It still gives me pain daily. Next was the broken arm in July. Happily, it healed well, although I still have trouble reaching to the side or behind on that side. Minor problem.

Back around the time of the knee replacement I talked to my nurse practitioner about how I was tired All.The.Time. Nine or ten hours of sleep, then a nap in the afternoon, maybe even two. We also discussed the tinnitus in my right ear. Hearing test: yup, hearing loss in both ears, worse on the right. MRI to check for a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve; negative (yay!). Hearing aids in both ears, $5K out of the checking account. hearing is improved. Sleep study: result, mild sleep apnea; probably not severe enough for a CPAP but enough that I need a dental device that would pull my lower jaw forward at night, thereby preventing my tongue from falling back and blocking my airway. The dental thing is supposed to reduce my fatigue by improving my sleep quality. Success remains to be seen; I have only been wearing it a few weeks.

I had the second appointment with the dental specialist on Monday. I am to shorten the hinges on the dental thing every week or as soon as I am comfortable in its new position. Which in my opinion will be never, but we will see how it goes.

Also, she gave me a list of ten things to do. Jeez, I’m glad I’m retired — don’t know if I could keep it all straight and do them daily if I were still working. Apparently, the muscle that controls my jaw is very tight >> hot and cold compresses and daily massages of that muscle. Next, no hard foods like French baguettes or bagels.That one is easy; neither one is available in Polk County except in the freezer section, and those aren’t worth eating. Also, no chewy foods like steak (sob!) or candy. Additionally, chew food on both sides of my mouth simultaneously. Okay. Keep my jaw muscles relaxed by keeping my teeth apart and keeping the tip of my tongue touching the roof of my mouth. I kinda feel like a drooling idiot like that, but at least it is easy.

Avoid clenching my teeth or grinding them – duh. Avoid tensing my jaw — duh.

Avoid any activity that involves wide opening of the jaw – dental procedures, yawning. That last one is tough. Even typing the word yawning makes me want to yawn. What to do? Press my tongue as hard as possible against the roof of my mouth and open my mouth as far as possible without moving my tongue. Easy peasy, if I can remember to put my tongue up there in time.

Now, the clinchers. Avoid caffeine, as in coffee, tea, soda, chocolate, and some aspirins. No coffee: it was with great sadness this afternoon that I packed my espresso maker and accessories, French roast canister, decaf French roast canister (decaf has half as much caffeine as full strength), and spare packages of ground coffee into a box and stowed it in the closet. No more Coke Zero (sob!). I can probably get away with drinking herbal teas as long as they have no caffeine. And La Croix is okay – I checked, no caffeine.

And thus I ride off into the sunset, glasses on, hearing aids in, jaw relaxed, with my La Croix in the drink holder on my saddle.

.

• Actually, my first gray hairs appeared at 20. I plucked them out religiously until it occurred to me that to continue this practice would mean I was eventually bald. So I learned to live with them. And think of them as highlights.